How to Deal with Disappointment
“Success builds character, failure reveals it.”
-Dave Checkett
Today I got fired from volunteering for an organization I care about because I was too involved in another organization I care about. At first, I was disappointed and disheartened since I had only recently been asked to be a part of the former organization and thought I could contribute to shaping their future. However, I understand both perspectives. On the one hand, I want to devote my free time to causes and organizations I believe in. On the other hand, it’s difficult to execute well when you are overcommitted. Balance is a problem all entrepreneurs face and even if you are an expert in time management, there is always a breaking point.
How do you choose what to prioritize and how do you know when to move on?
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- They are more concise and digestible. When is the last time you read an article that was more than 3 pages long?
- They don’t waste your time. Why read 15 pages to find out you’re not interested if you can just read 2?
- It forces a company to drill down to the heart of what they do and why it’s important.
- It allows a company to tell its story without being bogged down by numbers and graphs.
- You get to the heart of the “why” faster. Page 1 covers the problem and the proposed solution.
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- Connecting Knowledge to Power – Upper level management has the decision making power, but young employees often have the knowledge you need to help your company grow and thrive. They just might have the relevant skills you are looking to bring in for a particular project, such as a website redesign or marketing campaign. How do you tap into that unmined knowledge? Invite small groups of employees out for lunch or coffee to hear about their ideas. Encourage idea sharing, maybe an open idea board, and implement the best ones. Find ways to separate brainstorming from performance so that an employee is not penalized for a bad idea.
- Employee Retention – Let your employees grow or they will outgrow you. Find out what skills your employees would like to develop (and that are beneficial to your company) and let them build up those skills. If someone in development is interested in learning coding, pay for their class. You never know when someone who has a specific skill might come in handy. This leads to my next point…
- Crowdsourcing is free. Outsourcing isn’t. Use and build upon your most valuable resource (your employees) first.
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“It’s not what you’re capable of, it’s what you’re willing to do.” – Mike Tomlin
Below is a list of 6 simple things I believe make a huge difference that most people simply don’t do consistently.
1. Calling vs. Texting – Texts have become necessary, but they tend to go the way of e-mails. They are easy to digest and also easy to forget. Media consumption = devaluing of communication. If you want to stand out, pick up the phone. I tend to prioritize responding to calls and voicemails over responding to texts because they feel more personal and more urgent.
Example: A friend of mine left me a voicemail last week to see if I was attending an event I had mentioned I was interested in. I called back immediately because it was personal (he connected with me about something he knew I was interested in) and urgent (the event was that night so I needed to let him know if I was going).
2. Follow-Up – We’re all guilty of not doing this. If someone makes an introduction, follow up. If someone helps you, follow up with a thank you. If you say you are going to help someone, follow up with an introduction. The little gestures do matter. Leave a good taste in someone’s mouth. Trust me – people remember when you don’t follow up, especially if there was an expectation that you would.
Example: I followed up with Andrew Warner from Mixergy about a comment he wrote on this blog and now we’re collaborating on a project together.
3. Turn off your phone or you’re a turnoff. If I think that you think that your phone is more important than me (the flesh and blood that’s standing in front of you), I will be disengaged. Resist the temptation. I trust people more who I know will listen to what I have to say. I don’t want to be competing against your media consumption. I already know I won’t win. In person = conversation between two heads, not two handheld devices. Look up. Making eye contact with someone gives someone the impression that you’re paying attention to them.
4. Do your background research. In the age where you can find everything from information about a person’s summer internship in college to their favorite kind of food, make sure you know what they care about and find a way to relate to them. If it’s something you hate, think of a way you can learn from it.
Example: John Pepper, the founder of Boloco, read up about the people attending a DartBoston family dinner so he would know a little bit about everyone’s background before he met them. He even referenced my Groupon video at the dinner. Result: I was instantly impressed and wanted to know more about him.
5. The Power of Please, Thank You, and I’m Sorry – Most business is done through e-mail now. Sometimes what you thought was a perfectly clear e-mail can turn into a disaster. In a world of do it better, faster, and now, a simple acknowledgement goes a long way. In human relations, emotions override efficiency. See #2 about leaving a good taste in someone’s mouth.
6. Say no. Or as Cort Johnson and Jake Cacciapaglia like to say, “Under promise and over deliver.” Cut features a la Dave McClure. Down time is really just about building your reserves of energy back up.
What else am I missing?
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How to Be More Productive
Startups almost always have a lean team, which means everyone is forced to take on multiple roles at the beginning. However, when everyone is trying to do everything, it is not as effective as when everyone focuses on one thing. Defining what everyone’s role is within the startup can make or break efficiency and productivity.
My suggestions:
- Define what needs to be done.
- Define the resources needed to get those things accomplished.
- Define who is responsible for doing what.
This may sound simple, but it is something that is often overlooked.
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Defining Direction
When I was in high school, getting into the “right” college seemed like the most important thing in the world. College was seen as the ticket to a good job and a good life. However, after graduating a few years ago, it seems like most important thing is finding a job that makes you happy. There is no hand holding when you get out of school. Back in college, I used to envy the science majors who had their direction completely planned out for them. Take these 10 classes. Go to medical school or get a PhD. Do a post-doc or a residency. They were on a track, and they knew exactly how to get where they wanted because there was a clear path. For most professions though, the path is not really defined. While I would ultimately still prefer to chart my own course rather than have a path dictated for me, I wish there were blueprints for different careers that said more or less, this is what you need to do to get here. And also, this is what you will do when you get here. Positions you most covet while you are at the bottom of the food chain might be the completely wrong fit for you when you get enough experience to qualify. Why not know before you get there so you can chart a new course?
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Filling in the Gaps
Based on discussions at a recent conference on educational access for underserved students I helped organize, here are the most pressing problems facing public education in America right now:
Transitions – How do you adequately prepare a student to transition from elementary to middle school, middle school to high school, and high school to college? These three major transition points for most students are where students get left behind or simply drop out.
Mentorship in Schools and Beyond – How do you help kids want to be smart? Even students with straight A report cards can veer down the wrong path if they don’t have a caring, adult mentor to look over their shoulder and teach them not only what not to do, but the consequences of their actions.
Comprehension of the College Process – For those of us who grew up with parents who have college degrees, it was as ingrained as brushing one’s teeth that we would also attend. Students whose parents did not attend college are often left in the dark. Applying to college is a daunting process because there are so many moving parts, many of which are out of one’s control to a certain extent like acceptance, financial aid awards, and fitting in. Even if parents are motivated to help their students get to and stay in college, they don’t always have access to the resources they need to help them make an informed decision.
Remedial Classes in College – Many students come to college unprepared to face classes that stretch them beyond what they were supposed to have learned in high school. Where do you draw the line between getting students up to par before college and getting them up to par while in college so that they will still be able to graduate on time?
College Retention – It’s not enough to focus on helping underserved students get accepted into college. If there is not support for students after they enroll in college, those years of preparation could easily be wasted. Students will run into problems with acclimating, from homesickness to work load to financial troubles – problems that ultimately cause them to get left behind and/or drop out. Knowing this, how can a school address these issues to ensure a student sticks with school?
There are no easy solutions to these ongoing dilemmas, but I propose 3 here:
- Gap funding – A foundation should be set up to cover the gap that underserved students often face – they are accepted to independent high schools and colleges, but those schools cannot offer them enough funding. Most educational access programs do not have the financial wherewithal to cover this gap. This missing money often makes the difference between a student graduating from college and a student dropping out.
- Transition Funnel – Create a way for access programs to transition seamlessly so that students always have the support they need. That way, they are much less likely to fall behind. Nothing new needs to be created here – the expertise and resources that the programs already have in place can be utilized.
- Mentor Match Program – Similar to Big Brother/Big Sister, this program would match students at all grade levels with a mentor that shares qualities they need to improve – whether it be a shy student being paired with an outgoing mentor or a student who needs help in math with someone who teaches math.
How would you solve these problems?
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- Care packages – It’s all about appreciation. Occasional acknowledgements of hard work are always welcome.
- Ice cream – it makes everything better. Sometimes it’s easier to bond over food than a computer screen. Get away from your desk and spend some face time with your cube mates.
- Food fights and water guns – play matters. Sometimes a break in your routine can actually make you more productive. Encourage your employees to take a walk during the middle of the day or work in a coffee shop for a few hours. A change of pace or scenery can make all the difference.
- Your bunkmates – Like a good camp, a good job will make you forget you’re doing any work, will make you sad when you leave, and you will cherish the connections you made there forever. Your bunkmates become your family for the summer. Considering you spend a good chunk of your week at the office, your co-workers should too.
- The polar bear swim – Jumping into a freezing lake may not be your idea of a good time, but taking risks are necessary and often rewarded. Even failure is its own kind of reward.
- Campfire Songs – They are fun to learn, but are annoying and get stuck in your head. The campfire song test is a good way to measure if you’ve learned a new concept or skill.
- S’Mores – You always crave more. If you don’t have this drive on a daily basis, figure out why and change it or look elsewhere.
- Postcards – They’re short, so you only get the most important information. This is how e-mails should be. If you want to have an extended conversation with someone, call.
- Canoeing – Don’t rock the boat. Use the people around you to accomplish everything more efficiently.
- Friendship Bracelets – It’s fun to braid and receive them, and you will wear them proudly on your wrists and ankles while recalling stories of who gave them to you. Don’t forget to maintain relationships with others even while you are forging new connections. It’s much easier to create than to maintain.
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Why Volunteering Is Underrated
Sometimes, in the search for the perfect career, one underestimates the power of volunteering. It’s easy to overlook, especially when one has graduated from college, because volunteering requires time and doesn’t pay, and money and time are usually the most scarce resources for someone involved in a startup.
I challenge anyone who is planning to become an entrepreneur (which I spelled correctly on the first try for once!) to pick a company you really like and help them out. It will be hard work, and it will be time consuming, especially if you enjoy what you’re doing (which is hopefully why you started volunteering in the first place). However, the experience you gain will be priceless:
- You will meet people in the industry you want to work in.
- You will be able to hone your marketing skills when promoting that organization.
- You will get to experiment with things you might not get to try out in your paid job, like a skill you’ve been itching to learn or refine.
- You will make new friends who could become your future colleagues and/or supervisors.
Now, before you get too excited, don’t forget about the realities:
- If you do a good job, you will be taking on more responsibilities. Volunteering often becomes more like a part-time job if you’re really passionate about what you’re doing.
- If you are working closely with the founder(s), keep in mind that they probably treat their company like a parent treats a teenager – with caution. You could run into problems if you and the founder(s) don’t see eye to eye on how to grow their startup into something bigger than themselves.
- If you are lucky, you will get equity. At times, it might seem unfair that you are putting in a ton of work for nothing tangible in return, but hang in there.
- If you consider quitting (and trust me, you probably will when you are slammed at work and you have to go home to more work), you will not only be letting down yourself, but also the entire company (which, if it’s a true startup, is probably 5 people or less).
It’s not just about showing up. Sure, executing flawlessly can’t hurt, but think about what added value you will bring to the company. It’s not just about free labor. Make your mark on the brand without it losing its integrity. The beauty of volunteering is that it’s a commitment you make without committing. It’s not as messy to get out of as a full-time job, it should be equal amounts of fun and hard work (if not, pick something that is!), and if it’s a good match, it could lead to new opportunities you never dreamed of. So pick wisely, and help a startup out!
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- I always misspell it. While writing this post, I had to retype the word several times. Those “r’s” are troublesome.
- It sounds French. I tend to misspell French words (refer to #1). Its origin actually comes from the Old French word entreprendre, which roughly translates to “begin something, undertake.” I do at least like the meaning of its root since starting a business requires a commitment to action.
- It somehow feels exclusive.
Here are some suggestions for easier to spell and pronounce words that could refer to people who start their own businesses:
- Builder
- Innovator
- Visionary
What do you think? Is the word worth keeping in the English language or is it better replaced by something else?
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Marissa Explains It All 